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When You Want to be Understood

Posted in Perspective, Uncategorized | 8 comments

Is this the common struggle?  The deep down desire of every person made in His image?

To be understood.

Misunderstandings take the blame for many a disagreement, and the struggle is that you would know what I really mean, know what my intentions are.

But does that solve anything, really?  Does knowing your intentions make your actions o.k.?

You don’t understand.

I hear this struggle from my own mouth, masked with adult-sounding words and deep frustrations.  I want perspective but it needs to be my own, from behind my own two eyes. I want you to see the world as I do, really.  And then, maybe, you’ll be o.k. with my short-comings.

But you don’t understand.  And I don’t understand, either.

Shouldn’t we just stop that struggle, quit blaming “misunderstanding” and instead, think no evil, judge no motive?

Let me just say that, no, I don’t understand, and I’m o.k. with that.  I’m fine with not knowing everything about you and all your past experiences that lead you to this day and that decision and those words.  It’s alright that all the inner-workings of your heart are mysterious to me.

In fact, maybe it’s good.

That deep understanding, that intimacy with your heart?  You ought to reserve that place for Jesus.

Why do we cling to being understood by people, when there is One Who knows our hearts completely and loves us anyway?

The spirit of a man is the lamp of the LORD, Searching all the inner depths of his heart. – {Pro 20:27 NKJV}

Three graces for when you don’t understand or are not understood:

1. God does.  You know He was tempted in all the same ways you are, yet without sin. (Heb. 4:15).  We stand in awe of Him, but He is never puzzled by us.  Everything is bare before Him and even those things we try to hide, the motives we really don’t want checked, He’s got those figured out.  And in spite of all He understands about us, or maybe because of it, He sympathizes and pours out mercy and grace.
2. You are complete in Him. Yep.  Your greatest need is not to be understood, but to be in Him. 
3. Love matters more than being understood.  You can know all mysteries but have no profit if love isn’t there (1 Cor. 13:2).  Love is the benefit of the doubt and the understanding of the most important things – that we all mess up and and we’re all worth fighting for, worth dying for.  Really.

So I can love you by trying to understand you, yes. But when you don’t have my perspective and I don’t share yours, when your words run out and all I have is your actions and my clouded vision, I will choose to love without understanding it all.

It’s ok.

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Thankful for all this…

361. large family gatherings

362. science projects for the whole family

363. celebrating 50th anniversaries!

364. getting the hang of new things

365  people who write random love notes on your daily schedule

366. wonderful, amazing friends with garlic-feta dip

367. late night sister-talks

368. paper mache

369. the split second when Bailey thought mom was serious

370. Just Dance

371. all the signs of fall

linking up with A Holy Experience,  Titus 2sdays, Scribing the Journey, and The Better Mom

When You’re Not Ready to Run

Posted in Perspective, Uncategorized | 9 comments

We could spend all our time preparing and never go anywhere.

We think there’s something more we need, something else or something better.  Really, what we need is more Breath and instead we hold it, prevent it from escaping and the Life stays stopped up inside us.

Breathe.

God exhaled Life into us and we gasp for more, but it’s really all there.  Everything we need for life and godliness, right down to the adrenaline, He breathed it into the dirt and we stand up to demand more.

Adrenaline is a wonder.

I skip days on the prescribed running plan and my preparation for this 10k is laughable.  I worry about not having enough breath and are there hills and can I really go the distance again, all unprepared as I am?

This is where I explain why I pay money to run.

Running is cheap exercise and it’s easy and there’s not much coordination or skill involved.  Buy some decent shoes and go.

But some days the go wants to not and what we all need is motivation.  So I send in my check a month before the race, sign the waiver on my excuses, and I commit.

When race day comes, I run because the adrenaline surges and I paid to be here and sometimes that is all the motivation I need, and there is breath enough.

I question the sanity of it all mid-race, but I put one foot in front of the other and finish.  I’m happy with my time and there are cookies at the end, a second-place ribbon, and a task accomplished.

You don’t need me to draw the parallel between running and our walk with Jesus.  But what you might need to hear, again, is that all-preparation and no-action will never get you anywhere.

Even if your preparation is lacking, there comes a time to act.  Ready, or not.  You can only hold your breath so long and then, just the way He designed it, your body will exhale.

We started school in full force yesterday, my 13th year of homeschooling and learning right along side the ones God has entrusted to me.

I was not prepared and gasping a little.

It made my husband nervous, telling him that I wasn’t sure what I was doing and didn’t really know yet how it would all work out.  He’s the one that always says, “We’ll know more when it’s over,” and he’s right. We learn as we go, but we have to GO.

Those dreams you never start, they never fail.  They bring no heartache or disappointment,  but don’t we learn best from the processes we go through, rather than the ones we only daydream about?

The letter you don’t write because you’re not ready, the meal you don’t make because it might flop, the mission trip you reject because you don’t think you have anything to offer, and the friendship you don’t offer because you might be rejected…none of those things ever hurt or disappointed you, did they?

Yes, they did.

You have big dreams and you have everyday things that you want to do, need to do, and have Breath enough to do.

Exhale.  And begin.

We’ll all know more when it’s over.

{And if you want real motivation, tell someone your dream.  Accountability is a powerful thing.}

Five Minute Friday: Change

Posted in Five Minute Friday, Uncategorized | 3 comments

I used to have a PhD.

I even wrote a poem about it but lucky for you, I can’t find it.

Three kids in three years meant a mountain of diapers and my poor husband, he came home one day after one of those days and found me huddled up with this poem.  The one about poop.

I told him I had an official Poop Handler’s Degree.

When you’ve cleaned it off of the baby’s clothes, your clothes, the floor, the chair, the toddler…whatever, and then repeated the whole cycle and taken care of the puppy’s, too, you get crowned with this distinction.

You probably have a PhD, dear reader.  Congratulations.

So I changed a zillion diapers and the sheets, too.  We changed houses, careers, curriculums, parenting tactics.  We survived toddlerhood and I think we did pretty well.

And “they” used to always tell me, the way well-meaning people do, that it only gets harder.  That babies change into big kids and into little adults and life won’t slow down for you.

They were right.

Our schedules have changed.  It’s  no longer about meal time and snack time and nap time and school time.  Bed time is later and now it’s more about who-needs-to-be-where-and-when.  I am not in control of every minute of their day anymore.

I used to have a PhD, but now I drive a taxi.

It used to be I was trying to get them to stay asleep, but now, just this morning, I’m waking my man-child up before dawn to go to work with dad.  Not just-for-fun, but he will actually work and I can still see him waddling around in his diaper.

Two men kissed me good-bye this morning, and I couldn’t be happier.

{Join us at Lisa-Jo’s for five minutes of writing joy.  Today’s prompt is CHANGE, and I’m sure you can come up with some good stuff!}

Why I’ll be Using More Paper

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Convenience is great.

Accessibility is great.

And I’m all about making things simple and easy.

But I’m also about balance, and one thing I’ve noticed about myself lately is that my face is often in a screen.  Or maybe, the screen is in my face.

I’m also highly distracted, like ADHD without the H.

All that makes it hard to be a good mom, wife, friend, homemaker…all that makes it hard for me to just stop, put the brakes on, and engage with life.  That thing that happens around me all day.

My lists are on screen.  My books, schedules, dreams and ideas float in bits and bytes, and my eyes are burning.  I appreciate my Kindle for the convenience and cost-saving, but I miss paper.  

The thing is, I change my mind so often about how and where I want to organize those pieces of life that need documented.  I use notebooks, sketch books, journals, sticky notes, evernote, onenote, notes on my phone…

I’ve tried to be all computerized and organized in digital fashion, because I think that’s great.  But the screen sucks my brain and my attention (which is limited).

It’s easier to walk away from paper, but this screen cries out to me for just one more…

I have one life to live and one shot at making these memories, the ones my kids will live with.  I don’t want to be the mom at the pool that misses the cannonball because of The Screen.  There are baby steps on this road to recovery, and the first one is logging off.

So I’ll be using more paper, and hallelujah, I’ve found a wonderful notebook that makes me giddy. (I’m simple like that).

The Arc customizable notebook from Staples.  I’m not an affiliate, won’t get any money if you click on the link, but if you feel so happy and excited after seeing this thing and you’d like to thank me, we can make arrangements.  *smile*

It’s just a little thing, but isn’t that what our lives are made up of?  To be faithful in the smallest of things, that’s the calling of those called mom and it’s the groundwork for bigger faith.  Because nobody who takes care of the little things is ever overlooked in the kingdom of heaven.

He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much; and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much. – {Luk 16:10 NKJV}

 

{Counting gifts and remembering His goodness with community here.}

355.  Again, great fellowship with friends…the Beautiful Feet people.

356. A lost dog and the way Jesus answers prayers

357. leftovers on busy days

358. kids old enough and willing to help a very pregnant friend

359. the ebb and flow of noise and quiet in the house

360. THE GREATEST JOY!  Our youngest, asking to receive Christ right in the kitchen.  Unprompted and out of the blue.  Born again, adopted again, and eternally His!

Oh, Happy Day.  (click and sing along with us?)

Remembering That He is Good

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Under Construction

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We’re undergoing a little bit of change here.  Pray for this non-techie as I figure this all out?